In the age of the Internet, we've all done it! Ooooh we've all done it... gotten into a heated, circular online argument with some stranger (unless you haven't, in which case I admire your restraint). "Never read the comments" is a well-known topical mantra for a reason, but we all know we're probably going to fall into the trap at some point anyway... I certainly do, so here are some things that I have to constantly remind myself, and which I think would go a long way toward helping us understand one another and quit it with the blind hate.
One of the most significant things I have come to understand in my adult life is that we are all simply products of our upbringing, environment, and other circumstances beyond our control.
This is irrefutable. I was born a privileged white woman in Canada. Had I been born into any other circumstance, my life would be very different and my experience in that life would have instilled in me a totally different perspective from the one I currently hold. This realization helps me to take a step back when having a discussion with someone whose perspective I disagree with, and rather than thinking "who is this stupid fucking asshole?" instead I remind myself that everyone's experience informs their perspective. Now, sometimes the stupid fucking asshole IS just downright wrong... but I find it helps to at least acknowledge WHY the stupid fucking asshole thinks the way s/he does. This is not to say we can't, as individuals, expand our own tunneled perspectives, but we have to be open to it.
There will always be someone smarter than you, or who knows more about the topic you are discussing. I have friends who blow my mind with their intelligence when discussing something I myself am not at all versed in. Some people are just on a totally different level, and rather than getting butt-hurt when someone demonstrates their keen intellect or knowledge on a subject, we would do better to open our minds to curiosity and learn from that person. If we all came into discussions with the main goal of understanding someone else's perspective and expanding our own, the world would be full of more well-rounded, less easily offended people. (I'm starting to think people's offense doesn't actually come from what someone is saying to them, but from their sense of being personally attacked when someone doesn't agree with them.)
Just because someone is smarter than you doesn't mean they automatically think you must be a Neanderthal dumbass (unless you're acting like one, foolio), and we should never take someone else's knowledge or intelligence as an inherent attack on our own. But, it's human nature to want to be right, I think, so it's really difficult for a lot of people to acknowledge or even realize it when they've been schooled.
Sadly though, most people have no interest in having their opinions expanded at all - they simply want to be right and for the world to know that they are right. I've learned there is no point even engaging with these people, because they are simply not open to expanding their view. You can address and refute their problematic points, you can agree with some things they are saying while adding to them, you can graciously and in a level-headed manner offer your own perspective, but they will not be moved. Ok, that's fine for them. They can stay in their self-imposed tunnel of ignorance. But I can not take a person seriously if they show no interest in expanding on what they think they already know. And I certainly won't take a person seriously if all they can do is hurl grammatically poor insults or passive aggressive comments at those with opposing views - this type of behaviour only shows a lack of intelligence and maturity and does nothing to legitimize that person's point of view, and I refuse to validate such pointless pettiness by giving it an iota of my energy. Again - do.not.engage.
One of my main goals in life has always been to work toward bettering myself, which means challenging myself with different perspectives; I'm constantly finding myself saying "hmmm, ok I see what you're saying," or "I never thought of it that way." I recently watched an episode of the Netflix show Chelsea, in which Chelsea speaks with genuine Trump supporters, and there were moments when some of their concerns and reasons for voting for Trump truly made sense to me, even though I still totally disagreed with them. I think once we break away from the idea that an opposing opinion is automatically a wrong opinion and that a differing perspective must be a combative perspective, once we let our egos go and open ourselves up to having our minds shifted a bit, we will start to reach a place of shared knowledge and respectful understanding.
Then again, some people are just dumbfuck assholes with nothing better to do than argue on the Internet.
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